Selling at Craft Shows Has Been Great for My Depression

 

Selling at Craft Shows Has Been Great for My Depression

Here is something I've been thinking about lately, esp since I've been on craft show break now for about a year. Wow that's trippy to say out loud, but more on that another time. It's all great actually, just unexpected. Suddenly I felt like it was time for a break, didn't see it coming. And I'm not sure when I'll go back, so there's a lot of pondering the path of my life right now.

I guess I should start with the fact that I've struggled with depression most of my life. I consider myself a functional depressive. Like I can mostly do everything I need to do in the grande scheme of things, but day to day I sometimes can barely function at all.  I use many coping techniques,  but mainly I set up everything in my life with strong boundaries. Those boundaries help me keep my life really mellow and drama free, and as much as possible stress free as well. Just a way to limit situations and people that I know can mess with my emotional well being. I mean life has stresses, and we need them to motivate sometimes... but I'm careful about that stuff. I need peace to thrive in my life. My own mental health is always my top priority. That's why I chose this job. Because it gives me the most control and freedom over how I work. When, where, what... it's all up to me.

Honestly, I don't usually write about this, so it's awkward feeling right now to try to put it all into words. But in life, I'm very open about my depression, anxiety, emotional sensitivity. I talk about it with friends, mainly so they can understand my behaviors sometimes. I skip a lot of parties and events just from basic social anxiety and discomfort with crowds. I'm particular about who I visit with and when. I still do a lot of fun things and see my friends, I'm just weird about certain things. And one great thing about social media, I know I'm not alone with these issues. Another reason I decided to write this. So overall I don't feel that weird about sharing ... I just haven't formulated how to talk about it yet.  I will probably do a future post more in depth on functioning with depression, I have lists!

Anyway, what got me thinking was when I decided not to participate in my biggest longest running home town festival this year. First time in well, this would have been my 19th year there. It's where I started, where I went to school, and every year I sell more than the year before. Super successful show for me. I made the decision for a variety of reasons, I stick by it.  But as the date came closer, fb memories were popping up, and I started getting feelings. A little sadness, a little jealousy, a little I'm missing out sorta feelings.

The morning of the festival, I woke up and thought to myself... oh I would be in the van on my way to set up right now. And I guess I kind of ran through all my usual feelings of pulling up to the first volunteer all excited and wishing him a great festival, the cool morning air and misty clouds, chatting with the neighbor during setup, getting coffee. My heart's beating fast right now just visualizing it! I fucking LOVE my job. And the love I know I would receive throughout the day at this particular show! Off the charts. Every year I cry afterwords just with gratitude for all the people throwing love at me all weekend, in the form of visits and sales. It's overwhelming. Old friends I only see at this festival every year, fellow artists from far and near, old customers who stop sometimes just to thank me for years of enjoyment of my clothes. They bring their daughters, their grand daughters now! Seriously it's nuts. People walking around in outfits they bought from me years before. My view of the big stage nearby, my killer corner spot that took me 10 yrs to get, the Peace Pops cart within reach, the samba parade (hello!), just the joyful vibe all around me. Electric!

And I just FELT in my body all the joy and energy and emotional FOOD I receive from working in my booth. I honestly feel - ever since that first day I stood behind that table in the HSU quad -  that I'm my best self when I'm working in my craft booth. In almost every way, it feeds me like nothing else I have done. Even making the artwork to begin with. Wow hadn't really thought of it before, but it's kind of true. (Of course creative making is super healing in itself, maybe a good topic for a future post.)

I'm outgoing, I'm friendly, I'm confident, I'm so freaking happy it's annoying sometimes. I'll talk your head off because I'm so excited. I've got stories, I will entertain you, I make friends. I'm completely in control of my little shop, sharing knowledge of my process, my inspiration, my history. I sell sell sell and it. is. everything.

At home I'm not really like that. I mean I'm me... just in the booth I'm dialed up to 11. Normally I don't have the fiery confidence that many successful years in my booth has given me. Normally I am friendly, but not super outgoing. When I'm working, I get into sales mode and I'll talk to anyone. If there's an issue at the show, I face it head on immediately. I find the solution, I talk to the person, I ask politely for cooperation, I boss if I have to. This is my job and I take it very seriously, don't fuck with my mojo. At home I hate dealing with responsible things and I'll put them off for weeks. But when it's my business, I want to be much more on the ball.

That brings me to another way doing craft shows works for me as a depressive type, the planning does most of the work. Meaning, once I set it all up, it's kind of hard to back out last minute just out of nerves, or feeling low or whatever bs I sometimes do. Most shows have applications due way in advance of the event, months usually. And it's all done from the safety and comfort of my computer. Easy! So the date is on the calendar, the booth fee check has been cashed, the camping or hotel reservations have been made, the supplies have been ordered. The plan is set! If I back out for any reason I will lose the booth fee, as well as all the money I would have made at the show. If I advertise or post on FB about it, put it on my web site show schedule etc, there could be customers who miss me as well. It's a bad look. All of this puts more pressure on me to actually show up, and it's good. I personally need that sometimes.

Also just the solid deadline of a show helps me a lot. I definitely perform better with outside deadlines, always have. That's mainly why I went to college ha! Leave it up to me and I'll goof off and procrastinate all day long. But with a clear deadline, I can get all my work done on time without too much stress.

I think a lot of artists fear putting themselves out there, esp if they are prone to anxiety or social awkwardness. Totally understandable!! Naturally, it's scary to put your heart out there for everyone to judge, but that is part of the art selling game. The biggest part really.

Maybe this is obvious, but the longer you do this job the better you will get at it. All aspects of it take practice, just like any other job. But ultimately, you will gain an audience, people will tell you all day how talented you are, how lovely your work is, they will give you money! The more experience and success you achieve, the more confident you will become. It's a tough job in many ways. Physically, creatively, emotionally demanding. When you get good at it, it's an amazing feeling. So that has definitely helped to lower my anxieties or fears of failure, or just trying to generally get down on myself as a depressed type person does. It's the one place I feel totally in my element, in control, and very good at what I do. Not saying it is always smooth sailing and perfect, I have my moments of course. But the pre-show stress freakout (which I have before almost every show, still!) is much easier to squash down, when I can recall a lot of past positive experiences. I know it will be fine and probably great, because it usually is. That can only come with time and practice.

So how to conclude here... what lesson would I impart to you reading right now, having doubts about your emotional abilities to sell your artwork? Try it. Find a way that feels comfortable to you, and go with that. Start small and grow slowly. Read a lot (maybe here on my blog even) so you feel more prepared. Join a fb group and ask questions. But do consider selling at shows, because although it can feel scary, for me the benefits have far outweighed my fears. Every time.